You should be able to spot this sucker from across the street. It’s not the most pleasant stuff to knit with–sticky as flypaper, and sheds like a nervous cat–but it makes bold, proud lace. Not for sale, just the remnants of a sample batch spun up for him by an independent mill. So I’m going big.Įnrico had some bulky natural white wool/mohair tucked away in the shop. Tiny swatches won’t stop passersby, however. The example in my collection, dated 1882, is typical: patterns copied out painstakingly by hand, with a tiny reference swatch pinned to the page. The original inspiration for the window display was the sort of lace notebook kept by many knitters in the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. With Enrico, the owner, I mined my collection of Victorian patterns for a selection of especially bewitching edgings. It’s time to refresh the windows at Les Tricoteurs Volants, my neighborhood’s charming yarn shop. I rush to get as much done as possible before the next round knocks me down again. I create impossible swatches where cables morph into lace and back again for no reason at all, and acres of plain knitting emerge and vanish as my brain slips in and out of consciousness.*Īfter a few days, I blink and stir and drag myself off the bed. I count stitches as the phantom yarn slides around the phantom needle. ![]() Face down on the pillow, I imagine casting on. Here I am, though, and the only way out is through, and the only way through is by not going out.ĭuring the long hours when I can’t move but can think–a frightening prospect with a brain like mine–I have taken to knitting in my head. I have a lifelong horror of enforced stillness, of unwilling confinement. I tell myself: wake up, wake up, wake up. I have a body, somewhere, but it won’t move even if I will it to move. ![]() Once every two weeks, I go to the hospital and a kind, gentle nurse who says my accent is charming sticks a needle in my arm and attaches to it a plastic bag of custom-tailored poison.Īfter that, I go to bed for several days. I can still work, though not as much as I’d like to. My eyebrows and beard have thinned, but they’re hanging on. Four sessions in, I’m as roly-poly as ever. Right now, we don’t know.Īs chemo goes, mine is kind. As a result, I am in the midst of a series of chemotherapy treatments that will last at least until the end of this month. In brief, my doctors here in France took a long, careful look at me and found that not everything is as it should be. The last two months have been difficult, though I hoped to get by without mentioning it. Last night, I pulled out my trusty worker’s jacket (a second-hand “bleu de travail” I picked up at the flea market) for the first time since spring. From one day to the next, there’s a chill in the air. I have no idea why, I just can't.I know we're friends pero hindi tayo close but im so happy when I meet you and im always here to support you thank you because you make me smile.I began writing this letter in August, but find myself finishing it in September. Until the last star in the galaxy dies, you will always have me. I am always here, silently wishing all the best for you. I just want you to know that I will be always your fan, cheering on you secretly. ![]() I hope u won't get goosebumps on my confession. I'm interested about you and even tried your favorites. Our feelings may not be the same but it's the truth. Let me say, I am one of those girls who admires you from a far sound cringe but yeah, I like you. I was never fascinated by anyone's eyes, not until I met yours kay di ka man namamansin HAHAHAHA well, i am always watching you from a far but I'm not a stalker. Gusto ko lang malaman mo na you got me crazy, ako'y baliw na baliw sayo. Hahaha pero give me a chance para mahalin ka pero kung hindi kapa ready okay lng naman, just follow your heart okay? Im always here to support you secretly. I want to tell you na your still my crush, hoping for crush back. As i've watched myself falling for you, I'm also afraid that you can't reciprocate it. I made this confession letter to let you know that i like you so muchhh I'm not that good at expressing my feelings but i put effort into this message, because i want you to know that I'm serious about my feelings.
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